Mother’s Day is traditionally a celebration, filled with flowers, cards, and shared moments. But for bereaved mothers—those who have lost a child—this day can be a harsh reminder of what’s missing. While the world celebrates motherhood, these women carry a grief that’s often silent and unseen.
If you have a bereaved mother in your life, here are thoughtful ways to acknowledge their pain and offer genuine support. While this blog highlights the loss of a child, I will note that this also applies to anyone who has lost a mother…Mother’s Day isn’t the same without mom.
Acknowledge Their Loss
The most meaningful gift you can offer is acknowledgment. Don’t be afraid to speak their child’s name. Say, “I’m thinking of you and [child’s name] today.” This small gesture honors both the mother and the child who is no longer here.
Send a Thoughtful Message or Card
A text, call, or handwritten note can go a long way. Let her know that you’re holding her in your heart. Avoid clichés like “everything happens for a reason.” Instead, try:
“I know this day may be difficult. I’m here for you, and I’m thinking of your beautiful child.”
Offer Presence, Not Platitudes
Grief is not something to fix—it’s something to witness. When we try to help by offering our own understanding of grief, sometimes we miss the mark. (Ex: “Everything happens for a reason.”) Comforting someone in grief is tricky. If she wants to talk, listen. If she wants silence, offer it. Just being present without trying to make it better can be the most comforting thing of all. Don’t wait for her to ask, instead offer up some ideas so she doesn’t have to think.
“What kind of ice cream do you want? I’ll be there in an hour.”
“I’m picking you up, get your shoes on. We’re going (walking).”
Honor Her Child in a Personal Way
Light a candle, plant a flower, make a donation in the child’s name, or share a memory you have. Invite her to join, if she’s comfortable. It’s a way to show that her child’s life—and her motherhood—still matters deeply.
Respect Her Grief Journey
Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. She may want to spend the day alone, or she might find comfort in company. Let her lead, and support her choices without judgment or expectations.
Extend Compassion Beyond the Day
While Mother’s Day can be especially difficult, grief doesn’t begin and end with a calendar date. Continue to check in throughout the year, especially on birthdays, anniversaries, and other meaningful milestones. The loss doesn’t always need to be discussed, but staying present is significant for the griever. They don’t want to be forgotten…this makes them feel even more isolated.
For bereaved mothers, the month of Mother’s Day is a complex blend of love and sorrow. But with empathy, respect, and remembrance, we can help make space for their grief and honor their enduring role as mothers. Their motherhood doesn’t end with loss—it transforms, and it deserves to be seen.
Bereaved Mother's Day is celebrated annually on the first Sunday of May, (next Sunday) serving as a day of remembrance and support for mothers who have lost a child. It's a time to acknowledge the unique grief experienced by these mothers, regardless of the circumstances surrounding the loss. This day is separate from the traditional Mother's Day celebration, which focuses on mothers with living children.
We reserve this day to honor and support mothers who have lost a child, offering a space for remembrance and acknowledging their enduring grief.