I lost my biological father when I was just an infant. My mother remarried a wonderful man whom I’ve called “dad” since I was three. I don’t know any different, however I’ve always felt the void of not knowing someone who went missing before I could articulate my love for him. I believe it’s because of an instinctual bond we have for our fathers.

Over the years, I have felt the sting of his absence. I know now as an adult that this journey has fueled my passion for helping others in grief. I still remember the anger I felt at not being able to experience milestones with my biological dad, all the while being grateful and at times even complacent at the beautiful role my step-father filled. I’ve worked my entire life with the help of supportive family, friends, and trusted professionals to get to where I am now.

My husband is a 6th Grade teacher at a Christian school in our town. Every year he has the students complete a “Life Map” project. He spends the next 4-6 weeks meticulously grading the significant life events of his students…and it’s heartbreaking. Many are positive and normal life events, but sprinkled in amongst the common are horrific stories of loss; death, trauma, separation, divorce, sibling loss, parent loss, friend loss, even pet loss. These are of the top 10 life events these kids remember. THIS IS A BIG DEAL! And yet, we tend to overlook these losses. They will not forget these losses and they will, at some point need to process them.

As Father’s Day approaches, many of us are searching for the perfect gift for dad, to show him how thankful we are for all he does for us. There are families all around us who are wishing they were debating over the personalized pocket knife or tackle box for the father/husband in their life.

The loss of a father is not just the loss of a person — it’s the loss of a protector, a guide, a provider, and often the emotional backbone of a family. Whether expected or sudden, the absence of a father leaves a profound void that reshapes the family structure, emotional dynamics, and everyday life. For each member of the family, grief takes on a unique form, but the pain is shared. In such moments, the support of friends and extended family becomes not only meaningful but essential.The Impact on the Family

The Spouse or Partner

For a wife or partner, losing a husband can feel like losing half of oneself. Beyond the emotional heartbreak, there are practical challenges — managing finances, running a household, and raising children alone. There’s often an identity shift from being a couple to being a single parent, and that transition can feel both overwhelming and isolating.

Children

Children, regardless of age, are deeply affected by the loss of the father. Young children may not fully understand the concept of death and may express confusion, clinginess, or behavioral changes. Teenagers might suppress their emotions or act out, grappling with the unfairness of the loss. Adult children can feel like they’ve lost their foundation — someone who gave advice, offered wisdom, or simply provided comfort with their presence.

The Family as a Whole

The family unit experiences a shift. Holidays feel different. Traditions may pause. Conversations feel emptier. The emotional glue that held everyone together may seem weakened. Roles may change quickly, with older siblings stepping up, or extended family pitching in to maintain some sense of stability.

How Friends and Family Can Help

Often, people want to help but aren’t sure what to say or do. Here are meaningful ways to offer real support:

Show Up and Be Present

Sometimes the best support is silent presence. Whether it’s sitting in the living room, helping with errands, or just checking in regularly — being there reminds the grieving family they are not alone.

Offer Practical Help

Grief can make everyday tasks feel monumental. Offer to cook a meal, drive the kids to school, help with laundry, or assist with paperwork. These small actions ease the burden and create space for the family to grieve.

Be Patient With the Process

Grief has no timeline. Don’t expect someone to “move on” quickly or handle it all gracefully. Continue offering support long after the funeral — months and years down the line, people still need comfort and connection.

Offer Emotional and Practical Support for the Kids

If there are children involved, they may need someone outside the immediate family to talk to. Offer to spend time with them, help with school pickups, or just be a steady, familiar presence. Your support can be a sense of normalcy in a world that suddenly feels uncertain.

Celebrate His Life Together

Don’t be afraid to talk about him. Share memories, laugh about his quirks, and acknowledge his absence. Avoiding his name doesn’t protect the family — it isolates them. Sometimes the best healing comes from storytelling and shared remembrance.

The loss of a father changes a family forever. But grief doesn’t mean life stops — it just becomes something new, something different. With compassion, patience, and steady support, friends and family can help rebuild a world that feels broken. You don’t have to fix the pain. Just be there. Sometimes, that’s all anyone really needs.

If someone in your life has lost a father, reach out today. A simple call or message can mean more than you know.