The "In-Between" Space

The “In-Between” Space

For many, the idea of experiencing joy while grieving can feel foreign, even disloyal. How can laughter coexist with loss? How can light exist alongside something that feels so heavy? In the 6 years that I’ve been doing this work, I’ve heard this over and over. It just feels strange to be happy when you feel like you should be sad for the rest of your life.

The truth is: joy and pain can and do coexist.

Grief lives deep in our bones, but it also lives in the in-between—the moments where you catch your breath, where you feel something other than pain, even if just for a second.

This might look like:

~Smiling at a memory instead of crying

~Feeling calm during a walk outside

~Laughing unexpectedly in a room full of others

~Creating something that didn’t exist before

These moments don’t erase grief. They sit beside it…and that matters.

Joy Is Not a Betrayal

One of the most common experiences among grievers is guilt when joy surfaces. Why does it feel so wrong to feel any kind of happiness? It can feel like any movement forward is leaving someone behind. But joy is not a betrayal of your loss—it is an extension of your capacity to carry it.

Joy says: I am still here. I am still living. I am still connected to the world!

In fact, many people find that joy becomes a way of honoring the person they lost. Carrying forward their love of music, their creativity, their humor—these are not acts of forgetting. They are acts of remembrance.

Making Space for Both

Finding joy in between grief is not about forcing positivity or rushing the healing process. It’s about allowing the full spectrum of your experience to exist.

You are allowed to feel deep sorrow and genuine joy—sometimes in the same day, even in the same moment.

Healing does not mean the absence of grief. It means expanding your capacity to hold both grief and joy at the same time.

Invite Yourself into Joy

~Notice the moments that feel a little lighter

~Engage in something creative, even if it feels unfamiliar

~Move your body in a way that feels supportive

~Sit in community with others who understand

These are not solutions. They are supports, and you need them.

And within these supports, you may begin to notice something subtle but meaningful: moments where grief softens its grip, just enough to let a bit of joy come through.

Those moments matter. They are not small. They are part of your healing. Let yourself feel them.