The holidays can be brutal for someone after a loss. This time is often thought of as a time of “togetherness” and yet the person you want to be “together with” is no longer there.

To heal from your pain, you need a healthy balance of solitude and interaction. This is especially important when you feel that heaviness as the holidays are approaching. You can feel it in your body, that you’re just not ready for all the feels this season will bring.

You might be feeling overwhelmed by all that is coming and you feel like running into the woods until 2027. But what is right for you? How do you decide if you can handle social settings or need some quiet time alone? And how much is too much one one thing?

David Kessler reminds us, “You’re not a grinch, you’re in grief”. It’s ok to not feel happy, and it’s ok to recognize when you need to be alone.

What’s the difference between solitude and isolation?

Solitude is when you need some time just to be alone with your memories and your thoughts. You’re choosing intentional time to connect with yourself.

Isolation is when you begin to shut people out of your life, staying at home and not choosing opportunities to Isolations separates you from receiving what we were wired for…connection.

Deliberate solitude gives you restorative time to rest and process feelings. Unintentional isolation cuts you off and can lead to heavy stress or negative thought spirals.

Why Solitude Feels Necessary

Rest for the nervous system: Being around others requires energy, conversation, and emotional management that you may not have right now.
Space to feel: Solitude gives you a quiet place to cry, reflect, process memories, and sit with your emotions without feeling rushed or judged.
Relief from expectations: You get a break from answering questions, pretending to be "strong," or managing other people's discomfort.
Biological response: The push-pull between wanting connection and wanting isolation is a natural way your body regulates high cognitive load and stress.

It is, however important to recognize when your solitude turns into an unhealthy coping mechanism. Harmful isolation happens when pulling away turns into a long-term pattern where you stop answering people you care about, spiral into heavy negative thoughts, or feel completely stuck.

To experience the benefits of solitude and interaction, it’s important to evaluate situations before you’re in them. Ask yourself these questions:

If I choose to be with people today, will I:

Be willing to talk about my loved one and share memories about him/her if opportunities arise?
Safely express my grief if I am ambushed by difficult emotions?
Be honest and ask for any needed help?

If I choose to be alone, will I:

Take time to dwell on my latest feelings and thoughts?
Talk to God or others about those feelings, seek help and accept it?
Avoid the temptation to numb my pain?

If you would answer “no” to any of those questions, rethink going into the situation, or take steps to make the experience more beneficial. For instance, if you realize you might not be able to talk about your loved one at an event, write a letter to give to those attending beforehand.

If you realize that when alone, all you think about is your sadness and despair, plan to occupy your time with an activity such as a creative activity, something active, reading, or a prayer or devotional.

The key takeaway is to think before committing to time alone or time with others and setting boundaries. Do what feels right for you, but recognize when you might be slipping into unhealthy habits that are detrimental to your overall wellbeing.

Reflect:

When you choose to be alone, what do you tend to do?
After you spend time with others, what was something positive about the experience?

Give yourself permission to spend the holidays in the way you need most. Take some time before the holiday season arrives to reflect on where you are in your grief and what you might need this year to honor your tenderness.

Adapted from GriefShare Survival Guide for Navigating the Holidays After Loss.

To watch Surviving The Holidays from Grief Share and learn more about joining a group, watch this video.

The holiday season can be hard to navigate with the busy schedules, stress, and feelings of grief that may come up or intensify during this time of year. Although it may not come naturally to prioritize yourself, it is so important to continue to fuel your body especially during times of increased physical and emotional stress,

As a nutritionist when I use the word nourish, I mean to consistently fuel your body with a balance of all the nutrients that support everyday function. You’ll see the phrase “nourish your body” throughout this article, I want you to think of it as giving your body what it needs to function, recover, and support you through whatever season of life you're navigating.

Understanding the Connection Between Stress, Grief, and Your Body

Remember, part of our nervous system and immune system reside in our gut and our gut communicates directly with our brain. During periods of increased stress, including emotional stress from grief, our digestion, appetite, sleep, and immune function can all be affected. The holidays bring on higher stress, more access to inflammatory foods and less access to vitamin d (sun), combine that with being on a grief journey, it can all feel overwhelming.

It is important to still put yourself and your needs as priority whenever you get the chance. What can we do to support our body and mind during this season?

Focus on What's Within Your Control

One of my favorite things to say to clients is to: focus on what’s in your control. There may be a lot of things out of your control but there are still times where you can take back control. A good place to start us looking at how you are fueling yourself in between gatherings? Are you getting in balanced meals, water and body movement?

These don’t need to be big changes or long exercises, it can be a short walk after you eat or prioritizing a meal before your busy schedule.

If its been difficult getting to the store to buy what you need, consider more ways to make food more accessible. Utilizing a service like “Thrive” may be beneficial a grocery delivery services, recurring grocery orders, or keeping a few easy-to-prepare meals on hand can help take some of the pressure off. This will help make sure you have food to nourish your body.

Remember, nourishing yourself doesn't have to be complicated to be beneficial.

Building a Balanced Plate

Building a balanced plate at home can be so easy!

½ your plate: Vegetables and/or fruits to provide fiber, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants.
¼ your plate: Protein to support muscle maintenance, tissue repair, and immune function.
¼ your plate: Whole grains or starchy vegetables to provide carbohydrates for energy.

When I work with clients one-on-one, we can get much more specific with their individual needs, but this is a great starting point.

Remember, not every meal needs to look exactly like this. The goal is to build consistency over time, not perfection at every meal.

Small Additions That Support Your Body

Rather than focusing on everything you should avoid during the holidays, I encourage you to think about what you can add in to support your digestion, energy, and overall well-being.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Bone Broth

Bone broth can be a comforting way to add fluids and some nutrients to your day. Sip on it warm, use it as a base for soups, or substitute it for water when cooking grains. Its protein content varies by product, so it isn't always a replacement for a complete protein source.

Water

Hydration supports digestion, circulation, and normal body functions. With busy schedules, it's easy to forget to drink water throughout the day. Keep a water bottle nearby or enjoy warm herbal teas when the weather is cooler. For most people, regular meals and fluids provide the electrolytes needed for hydration.

Peppermint Tea

Peppermint tea is one of my favorite additions after a meal. It may help some people feel more comfortable when experiencing mild digestive discomfort or bloating. If you experience acid reflux, however, peppermint may worsen symptoms.

Garlic and Onions

Garlic and onions contain beneficial plant compounds and prebiotic fibers that can help support a healthy gut microbiome. They're also an easy way to add flavor and nutrients to meals. If you have a sensitive digestive system, particularly with IBS, you may need to adjust your portions.

More Vegetables

Adding vegetables to your meals provides fiber, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants that support digestion and overall health. Roasted vegetables, soups, and seasonal produce are all easy ways to incorporate more variety.

Body Movement

Our digestive system relies on coordinated muscle contractions to move food through the gastrointestinal tract. Gentle physical activity can help support regular bowel movements and overall digestive health.

Something as simple as taking a short walk after eating can be beneficial. Movement can also provide an opportunity to step away from a busy environment and reconnect with yourself.

We’ve discussed focusing on what’s in our control, things we can add in to support our body, now the main question I always get…

How do I get through the holiday parties?

Ask if you can bring a dish! (These may or may not be applicable) but a lot of parties are pot luck style. I always like to bring a dish rich in protein and veggies. That way you know you can get a balanced plate in.
If you’d like a piece of dessert, have a serving size without guilt and take the time to savor and enjoy it. I still try to stick to the recommended 25 grams of added sugar for women, 30 grams of added sugar for men per day. It isn’t about turning down or saying no to desserts and treats, just being aware or how much you’re eating and staying within balance.
Water > Holiday beverage. Don’t forget holiday beverage may often have sugar in them as well, my advice is to alway have more water than holiday beverage (if it has sugar or alcohol). It can be as easy as having a glass of water in between beverages if you are having more than one.
Try not to stress too much. When you consistently nourish your body it has a strong defense to stress and toxins.

As we move through the holiday season, I want to leave you with this reminder: nourishing yourself isn't only about what you eat at holiday gatherings.

It's also about the meals you make at home, the water you drink throughout the day, the moments you spend moving your body, and the ways you continue caring for yourself when life feels heavy.

Grief doesn't follow a schedule, and neither does the process of learning how to care for yourself through it.

Some days, nourishment may look like a home-cooked meal filled with colorful vegetables. Other days, it may look like a simple bowl of soup, a piece of toast, or asking someone to help with groceries.

Focus on what you can add, what you can control, and what feels manageable for you right now.

The goal isn't to navigate the holidays perfectly. It's to find ways to support your body while still making room for the experiences, traditions, and emotions that come with this season.

By Stacey Ring, Clinical Nutritionist

We are thrilled that Stacey will be facilitating a workshop on December 15th covering more on this topic! Sign-up here! See more info below.

Stacey Ring is a clinical nutritionist and founder of Real Nutrition Kitchen. With a master’s degree in Nutrition and Human Performance, she takes a whole-body approach to health, exploring the connections between nutrition, gut health, stress, and overall well-being. Through her private practice and community workshops, Stacey is passionate about making nutrition education approachable, empowering individuals to better understand their bodies and find realistic ways to nourish themselves through every season of life.

You can find Stacey on instagram & facebook - @therealnutritionkitchen

website - staceyjfit.com

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