The beginning of each new year often arrives with an unspoken expectation: fresh starts, clean slates, renewed energy. To a griever, this idea seems like a dagger to the heart; a reminder that your world will never be the same. The start of a new year without your person seems cruel and wrong. The loss does not disappear at 12:01 January, 1st.
Each new milestone can feel like unfamiliar territory. The new year may bring a quiet question many grievers hold in their hearts: How do I move forward without leaving them behind?
The answer is not found in forgetting, letting go, or “moving on.” It is found in learning how to carry love forward. It is what comes with loss. I’ve always believed that God prepares a way for us to live after loss, because he knew what this world would bring…pain. But, how is it possible to carve out new joyful experiences without them?
Grief as a Companion, Not a Weight
Grief is often described as something to be overcome or carried. We’ve seen pictures of the “weight of grief”, often depicted as heavy rocks inside a backpack that we must carry everywhere we go. Grief is heavy. The emotions that follow a loss are unavoidable and overwhelming. But in truth, grief is a reflection of love. It becomes part of who we are—not something to erase, but something to tend to. Over time, we create a new version of ourselves, often one we never expected.
Moving into the new year does not mean abandoning your grief. It means allowing it to walk with you, softening over time, changing shape, but still honored. There is space for joy and sorrow to coexist. There is room for laughter alongside longing.
Honoring Their Memory in the Everyday
Honoring a loved one does not have to be grand or ceremonial. Often, it lives in the quiet, everyday moments:
~ Speaking their name and sharing their stories.
~ Continuing traditions that feel meaningful.
~ Creating new rituals in their honor.
~ Living in ways that reflect the values they embodied.
~ Allowing yourself to feel connected rather than “finished” with the relationship.
When we weave remembrance into daily life, we affirm that love continues—just in a different form.
“I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart.”) E.E. Cummings
Looking Toward the Future Without Guilt
Many grievers feel guilt when hope returns. Smiling again can feel like a betrayal. Making plans may stir fear or hesitation. But looking toward the future does not diminish the past. Nothing will bring them back to earth, but nothing can take away the life you shared with them or the memories you hold.
Your loved one’s memory is not threatened by your growth. In fact, moving forward can be an act of honoring them—choosing to live fully because of the love you shared, not in spite of it. Feeling guilty about experiencing happiness is a normal grief reaction, but it’s not meant to be held onto.
Alan Wolfelt, one of North America's leading death educators and grief counselors wrote an article on the Guilt of Grief. He states, “Prolonged, pronounced guilt, shame, and regret are harmful to your wellbeing. They’re emotions that are meant to be experienced and worked through—not inhabited forever.”
Setting Gentle Intentions for the Year Ahead
Instead of resolutions that demand change or improvement, consider setting intentions that support where you truly are in your grief:
~ I will give myself permission to grieve without judgment.
~ I will seek connection when I feel isolated.
~ I will honor my loved one through compassion—toward myself and others.
~ I will remain open to moments of joy, even when grief is present.
These intentions do not push grief away. They create a container where healing can unfold naturally.
Moving Forward, Together
As the new year begins, know this: you do not have to choose between honoring your grief and embracing the future. You can do both. You can carry your loved one with you—in memory, in meaning, in love—while still taking steps forward.
Grief changes us, but it does not end us. As we move into the year ahead, we can embrace all who we are becoming…Not all at once like the stroke of midnight, but in our own time. Approach 2026 giving yourself grace. Try one of our gentle workshops this year. Pick something that you might find enjoyable and invite a friend to join you. Save the date for our Fall Wellness Retreat. (End of September) Join us in the flower fields this summer and meet fellow grievers. Join one of our ongoing grief support groups and find hope with others.
I’m sharing a poem I often refer back to when I’m feeling particularly overcome with my own grief. I find it comforting to think back to why it is so very hard after loss, because there was great love.
Love Came First
You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster, you first thought her to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her. And of the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember. Grief came to you my friend become love came first. Love came first.
~Donn Ashworth